As per the usual, this blog comes with a warning. But just because of the content of this particular blog, I shall present you with two warnings.
First fair warning: This blog contains political content. The political content is not meant to change your personal opinion or state that the reader is wrong for their beliefs; it only serves the purpose of my own personal thoughts.
Second fairer warning: This blog contains all my personal thoughts. No one is encouraging me to write this post. I honestly have so many ideas bouncing around in my head and they just need to come out to help me "heal" and to give the readers of this blog some food for thought. I also have to include in this second warning, that I have been thinking about this for a while and that perhaps my thoughts might be a little rambling, so please excuse the semi-organized chaos. Although, you are reading a blog with the title "Always rambling with nothing to say".
I strongly encourage the readers of this blog to read my last post due to the fact that this is most definitely related. Or please, read a newspaper because this country just had an election. An election that was held after the most hateful, tumultuous, anxious political campaign that most people have ever experienced in their lives. An election that showed the clear, and disheartening, divide among our American citizens. An election that resulted in Donald Trump as the presidential-elect of the United States of America. An election that made me cry and feel anxious for several days after. An election that still feels like a personal, and perhaps, national nightmare for myself and many others.
I am going to be completely honest and say that I never saw this coming. I truly did not believe that our country could elect a racist, xenophobic, womanizing, reality show host to lead our country for the next four years. Although those words seem long and a cliche for many individuals now, they are my honest opinion. Throughout his lifetime (forget about the words, speeches, and televised statements that were made during the election), president-elect Donald Trump has insulted huge groups of individuals. He has made vulgar, demeaning comments towards women (many of them made public) and derogatory remarks about minorities, immigrants, and those with special needs. He even insulted veterans who had/have PTSD saying that they were too weak and that's why they are experiencing their symptoms. He has threatened to take away many of our rights (including reproductive rights) and overturn many of the laws and acts that were put into place from the President Obama administration over the past eight years. He has bankrupted himself and his company many times, yet he promises to put more money back into our economy, which feels like a true statement of contradiction. He wants to build a wall for immigrants which would undermine the entire foundation of our country; in addition to the wall and its reinforcement costing millions of taxpayer dollars, 90% of us would not be here today if our ancestors did not IMMIGRATE into this country many years ago. Honestly, I could list countless other reasons why president-elect Trump's term in office is potentially catastrophic for this country, but I choose to stop here.
I understand that many of these potential policies are going to have to pass through the House and Senate before they are even considered to be a valid option. I also understand the fact that Donald Trump is not the only individual to make horrible choices and decisions throughout his life and campaign run. Hillary Clinton is definitely not an angel and she has a list of statements and choices that I personal do not condone. I understand that no one is perfect. Hell, on a daily basis I have "resting bitch face", I tend to judge others too quick, and I hold grudges. I have done my fair share of horrible decision making and faced potential regrets. No one is proud of 100% of everything they have said, done, or haven't had the opportunity to do. I understand that we don't know what a Donald Trump presidency would consist of; he might surprise us all. Even though I seriously doubt that...
What does scare me and what I can honestly say for certain, is that this hateful election, the aftermath of experiencing months and years of hate, has resulted in disastrous social consequences. Ones that I fear are only going to get worse over the next several months and years unless we as American citizens acknowledge what is happening in our country and try to be better people.
Since the announcement of Donald Trump's election results, America has seen an outpouring of racist, demeaning, and overall nasty comments and actions. Swastikas promoting "white pride" have been painted on public buildings, students have been wearing "black face" to scare away the "black population", individuals have been attacked on college campuses for wearing hijabs, women have been scared to walk to their cars, and countless racial slurs and taunts have been written across bathrooms, public stalls, and even people's cars. But that's only a small amount of incidents. Those are only the acts that have been committed by "Trump supporters". Although Trump has said that he doesn't welcome those individuals who committed these acts into the Republican party and he doesn't condone what they have done, they did happened. But, it's not just "white supremacists" who have engaged in these hateful acts. Those who were supporting Trump and his political views have been victims following the election as well; they have been beaten during rallies and protests, they have been called racist and have experienced hateful crimes, and they have been made to feel like their views and their personalities are "wrong" just for voting in the election. In fact, a friend on Facebook described some of the hate she experienced and the racial comments that she received from those who she considered friends were disgusting. Just because she voted for Trump she became an enemy. And she isn't the only one to experience these words and actions.
Even on social media, I have been astounded by the amount of hate and ridiculous memes that have emerged since the Trump win on Tuesday. I have seen memes stating that those who were protesting Trump could afford to go to rallies since "they are lazy, don't work, and receive state benefits". I have also seen the meme of a woman crying stating "Trump is gonna make me work for my benefits". There have been countless others, but these are truly personal and aggravating to me.
First of all, just because people didn't vote for Trump, doesn't mean that they don't work and that they are receiving state benefits. Second, some people honestly need those benefits to survive and they have done everything they could before relying on those services provided by the government. Are there people who cheat the system? Yes. Are their people who receive benefits and don't care? Yes. But there are also those hard working people, like myself and others, who have been in positions where we worked our asses off at our minimum wage jobs and where our husbands lost their jobs and applied for everything under the sun and still didn't find anything. We had no choice but to rely on state benefits to carry us through until we could find something better. By assuming and passing along these memes and hateful words, you are perpetuating the hate and possibly hurting others who had no choice but to rely on assistance and feel ashamed for that fact.
Writing and describing these acts and words honestly leaves me on the brink of tears. How could our society be so hateful? How could we demean and categorize individuals for their beliefs and how could we perpetuate hate when we are all American citizens? Why does this feel like we are stepping back into the era of segregation? Running towards a future that places hate above love? That places individual's rights and beliefs over the good of a country?
Martin Luther King Jr. stated, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that."
So, I ask, no matter what your view. Choose love instead of hate. Choose light instead of darkness. Choose a path that not only benefits your beliefs, but also reinforces the ideals that this country was founded upon. Choose to drive out what you believe is wrong without hurting those in your path. Choose to set an example rather than following the examples of others. Choose to think for yourself instead of following the individuals who repost and "jump on the bandwagon". Choose to be the person that you want your children, your students, your family, the younger generation to follow. Choose to support instead of abandoning those who need you the most. Choose to volunteer rather than being passive in your choices. Choose differently.
After Tuesday, I was running on little sleep and I was feeling depressed and disheartened. I didn't have a smile to give and I felt angry at our country for getting it "so wrong". But instead of acting on my hate, instead of turning this into a "me versus them" argument, I chose kindness. I purchased my bagel and coffee and then I also passed along a $5 gift card. The woman behind me, kept it going and passed it along to the next customer. I say this not to receive acknowledge for my "good deed", but to say it's possible to choose kindness.
In a world where there is so much hate and so much bitterness, why do I need to hate Trump supporters too. Why do I need to bring others down to support my own views? We do not live in an "eye for an eye" society. Therefore, we need to make a difference if we want others to hear our voice and if we want others to make a difference too.
Martin Luther King Jr. also stated, "If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way".
So I ask everyone to do something small. If you see someone who is experiencing a moment of great sadness, offer them a hand or a hug. If you see someone who is being targeted for a hate crime, stand by them and let them know you don't stand for intolerance. If you see an individual on the street in rags and tatters, buy them a warm blanket or a hot meal. If you see an elderly man or woman who cannot hold the door and push their shopping cart out, hold the door. If you hear about a friend who went through a bad breakup, let them know you are there to listen. If you do not feel comfortable taking a stand in government, speaking up, or standing out, then commit a random, small act of kindness. It could make a huge difference.
If you feel like taking a bigger stand, get involved. Donate to a charity that you believe in. Volunteer at a local food bank or homeless shelter. Look for minority organizations and see how you can support them with time or money. Lend money to Planned Parenthood if you fear for your reproductive rights. Write your Senator, State Representative, or Governor if you think funding should be allocated towards a specific cause (such as education or the arts). Sign a petition to protest laws and acts that you have no tolerance for and then continue to advocate for those groups and rights. Sit in on a local or state government meeting and find out what is happening in your community.
STOP WEARING SAFETY PINS, and start making your voice heard. Although the idea of a safety pin is a nice thought, it is meant as a patch for our own personal feelings. The only thing a safety pin is holding together and representing, is ourselves. We need to think beyond our own feelings and start broadening our view.
Don't fear the Trump presidency, just ensure that your voice is heard and start ensuring that our future as a country is not in jeopardy.
And lastly, I will leave you with two pieces of information...
First, before everyone starts thinking that I am on a high horse and that I am just spewing random words and that I don't take my own advice, slow your role. I am actively involved in local politics (I have personal contributed time and money to the recent elections). I am also a member of several women and education advocacy groups due to the fact that they represent causes that I firmly believe in. And I have written to the Attorney General and State Representatives many times in the past to let my voice be heard about issues that I found to be unacceptable. So, yes I firmly believe everything that I have said.
Second, please remember this quote:
"In a world where you can be anything, be KIND".
*Final note: Not sure where the last quote came from. Sorry for not citing my source here.
Writing is good for the soul and my soul can speak volumes.
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Thursday, November 3, 2016
You are Making a Mistake
WARNING: This blog post contains political content and if you are easily offended, then you should stop reading. Additional note, this blog post DOES NOT contain partial favoritism or try to convince the reader to vote for a specific party, candidate, or rights.
I have always been fascinated by the concept of time. So much so that I actually wrote a final composition piece in high school on the topic. Time is a strange concept. It is one that we invented: we placed seconds to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days, days to months, months to years, and years to the span of our lifetimes. We conceived countless concepts regarding daylight savings times, time zones, and times at which specific events occur. We placed the importance on time. But the fact of the matter is that time is an inevitable part of our lives. And time seems to proceed at an accelerated rate.
Today is already November 3, 2016. The year is almost over. Valentines Day, St. Patricks Day, Independence Day, and Halloween have passed. Before we know it, the major religious holidays will come and go and we will be ringing in the New Year of 2017. This also means that another important date is quickly approaching: Election Day, which is November 8th for the record...
Unfortunately, this election year has been one of turmoil, angst, argument, disappointment, conflict, and general uneasiness. It has been said that this year is one of the most important election years to date. While I partly agree with this statement because I think we have the potential to witness history (no matter what way the electoral college and popular vote indicate), I also think that every single presidential election is incredibly important.
Let's refer to the concept of time once again.
In the early years of our country, only white people were allowed to vote. Correction, only white males were allowed to vote (especially those who were wealthy land owners). Time progressed, the Civil War was won, and then came a period of great segregation. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, along with countless other thankless and equally important members of the African American community, came together to fight against racism and pass the 25th Amendment which banned all forms of the poll tax, thus paving the way for African Americans to vote. Historical figures such as Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Lucy Stone advocated for women and faced countless critics and other obstacles to ensure that women had the right to vote.
An innumerable amount of people were beaten, faced harsh critics, and spent their entire lives dedicated to ensuring that ALL American citizens would be able to vote in all future elections. Minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades were spent tirelessly by hundreds of people to ensure that American citizens would be able to vote without facing segregation, injustice, punishment, and criticism.
Yet, so many Americans are actively choosing and discussing the fact that they will not vote due to the candidates on the ballot this year. How incredibly sad.
If time has taught us one thing it should be that we shouldn't take anything for granted. Our right to vote is something that we should not take for granted because if you exercised that vote, perhaps we wouldn't have these two major party candidates.
Make a stand. Start voting in EVERY SINGLE ELECTION! Declare yourself apart of a party...any party. It doesn't have to be Republican or Democrat. It could be the Green Party, an Independent, or one of the other parties that are now being recognized and advocated for. While you won't be able to vote in primary elections (which is truthfully upsetting), at least you are exercising your right to vote. You are declaring that you recognize the time spent and the fights lost and won to earn your right to vote. You are making a stand against future candidates and you are advocating for the best candidate that will represent how you feel and what direction you believe this country should be heading towards.
But, mostly importantly, RESEARCH! Understand that you are not obligated to vote for Hillary Clinton and the Democratic party or Donald Trump and the Republican party. There are so many other candidates; Jill Stein for the Green Party and Gary Johnson for the Libertarian party. Maybe one of those candidates has a different view for our country and they are the one who will advocate for your personal beliefs and will lead this country in a different direction. Or think about who is running for U.S. Senate or other local political positions. These MATTER TOO! They help decide who will advocate for your city, town, and state on a local and national level. That vote is just as important.
Include in this research the fact that major media stations and social media sites are not places to find factual information. ALL media stations are biased; they cover one candidate more than the other, they pick and select information to show, and they run ads for specific political parties. Social media sites create videos that are pieced together to show a candidate in a certain light or that misconstrue a candidates words or intentions. All of these places influence our thoughts and help us lean towards a specific candidate. Even our close family and friends influence our votes. We hear a piece of news from them that they heard from someone else or the media and suddenly we think, "That makes sense," or "Wow. I never knew that candidate was so spiteful or stood for that specific issue". I'm not saying to ignore your family and friends or that they are intentionally lying to you. What I am saying is that your vote should be PERSONAL.
Your vote should be grounded in your personal beliefs. Not only what you think about the "hot topics" (Gun control, Roe v. Wade, Immigration), but also what you think should happen with state and government funding. What you think should happen in the education system, health care, community programs, and advocacy groups. There are so many MORE TOPICS than the ones that candidates like to focus on. We all have opinions about these topics and we need to be vigilant about what we want for ourselves, our families, our friends, and our communities. Think about what direction you think this country should head towards and find the candidate that best fits that concept. Don't become a sheep and vote with the majority (although I think that's exactly what's going to happen with this election); think for yourself. Advocate for the candidate that fits your needs, beliefs, and community. THINK, RESEARCH, REACT.
Also, don't become one of THOSE people who think that the "popular vote" does not count. YOU ARE MAKING A MISTAKE! True, the popular vote does not mean that that person is getting into office. Reference: George Bush in 2000 who lost the popular vote to Al Gore, but won the electoral college and became our president. The electoral college is the body of individuals who are responsible for voting for the president of the United States every four years. But, that body of individuals consist of the members of Congress (those in the House of Representatives and two each for the number of Senators for each state). Those members get to where they are by popular votes...BY OUR VOTES! In fact, we are voting for U.S. Senators this year! Which means that your vote DOES COUNT! If you don't vote in this election, then you are directly influencing the presidential outcome for this year and the next presidential electoral year as well. YOUR VOTE DOES COUNT.
If it didn't count, then why would countless individuals fight, die, and tire themselves out advocating for your right to vote?!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote during this election. And EVERY SINGLE ELECTION AFTER! Local and national elections!
If you don't vote, then YOU ARE MAKING A MISTAKE!
I have always been fascinated by the concept of time. So much so that I actually wrote a final composition piece in high school on the topic. Time is a strange concept. It is one that we invented: we placed seconds to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days, days to months, months to years, and years to the span of our lifetimes. We conceived countless concepts regarding daylight savings times, time zones, and times at which specific events occur. We placed the importance on time. But the fact of the matter is that time is an inevitable part of our lives. And time seems to proceed at an accelerated rate.
Today is already November 3, 2016. The year is almost over. Valentines Day, St. Patricks Day, Independence Day, and Halloween have passed. Before we know it, the major religious holidays will come and go and we will be ringing in the New Year of 2017. This also means that another important date is quickly approaching: Election Day, which is November 8th for the record...
Unfortunately, this election year has been one of turmoil, angst, argument, disappointment, conflict, and general uneasiness. It has been said that this year is one of the most important election years to date. While I partly agree with this statement because I think we have the potential to witness history (no matter what way the electoral college and popular vote indicate), I also think that every single presidential election is incredibly important.
Let's refer to the concept of time once again.
In the early years of our country, only white people were allowed to vote. Correction, only white males were allowed to vote (especially those who were wealthy land owners). Time progressed, the Civil War was won, and then came a period of great segregation. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, along with countless other thankless and equally important members of the African American community, came together to fight against racism and pass the 25th Amendment which banned all forms of the poll tax, thus paving the way for African Americans to vote. Historical figures such as Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Lucy Stone advocated for women and faced countless critics and other obstacles to ensure that women had the right to vote.
An innumerable amount of people were beaten, faced harsh critics, and spent their entire lives dedicated to ensuring that ALL American citizens would be able to vote in all future elections. Minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades were spent tirelessly by hundreds of people to ensure that American citizens would be able to vote without facing segregation, injustice, punishment, and criticism.
Yet, so many Americans are actively choosing and discussing the fact that they will not vote due to the candidates on the ballot this year. How incredibly sad.
If time has taught us one thing it should be that we shouldn't take anything for granted. Our right to vote is something that we should not take for granted because if you exercised that vote, perhaps we wouldn't have these two major party candidates.
Make a stand. Start voting in EVERY SINGLE ELECTION! Declare yourself apart of a party...any party. It doesn't have to be Republican or Democrat. It could be the Green Party, an Independent, or one of the other parties that are now being recognized and advocated for. While you won't be able to vote in primary elections (which is truthfully upsetting), at least you are exercising your right to vote. You are declaring that you recognize the time spent and the fights lost and won to earn your right to vote. You are making a stand against future candidates and you are advocating for the best candidate that will represent how you feel and what direction you believe this country should be heading towards.
But, mostly importantly, RESEARCH! Understand that you are not obligated to vote for Hillary Clinton and the Democratic party or Donald Trump and the Republican party. There are so many other candidates; Jill Stein for the Green Party and Gary Johnson for the Libertarian party. Maybe one of those candidates has a different view for our country and they are the one who will advocate for your personal beliefs and will lead this country in a different direction. Or think about who is running for U.S. Senate or other local political positions. These MATTER TOO! They help decide who will advocate for your city, town, and state on a local and national level. That vote is just as important.
Include in this research the fact that major media stations and social media sites are not places to find factual information. ALL media stations are biased; they cover one candidate more than the other, they pick and select information to show, and they run ads for specific political parties. Social media sites create videos that are pieced together to show a candidate in a certain light or that misconstrue a candidates words or intentions. All of these places influence our thoughts and help us lean towards a specific candidate. Even our close family and friends influence our votes. We hear a piece of news from them that they heard from someone else or the media and suddenly we think, "That makes sense," or "Wow. I never knew that candidate was so spiteful or stood for that specific issue". I'm not saying to ignore your family and friends or that they are intentionally lying to you. What I am saying is that your vote should be PERSONAL.
Your vote should be grounded in your personal beliefs. Not only what you think about the "hot topics" (Gun control, Roe v. Wade, Immigration), but also what you think should happen with state and government funding. What you think should happen in the education system, health care, community programs, and advocacy groups. There are so many MORE TOPICS than the ones that candidates like to focus on. We all have opinions about these topics and we need to be vigilant about what we want for ourselves, our families, our friends, and our communities. Think about what direction you think this country should head towards and find the candidate that best fits that concept. Don't become a sheep and vote with the majority (although I think that's exactly what's going to happen with this election); think for yourself. Advocate for the candidate that fits your needs, beliefs, and community. THINK, RESEARCH, REACT.
Also, don't become one of THOSE people who think that the "popular vote" does not count. YOU ARE MAKING A MISTAKE! True, the popular vote does not mean that that person is getting into office. Reference: George Bush in 2000 who lost the popular vote to Al Gore, but won the electoral college and became our president. The electoral college is the body of individuals who are responsible for voting for the president of the United States every four years. But, that body of individuals consist of the members of Congress (those in the House of Representatives and two each for the number of Senators for each state). Those members get to where they are by popular votes...BY OUR VOTES! In fact, we are voting for U.S. Senators this year! Which means that your vote DOES COUNT! If you don't vote in this election, then you are directly influencing the presidential outcome for this year and the next presidential electoral year as well. YOUR VOTE DOES COUNT.
If it didn't count, then why would countless individuals fight, die, and tire themselves out advocating for your right to vote?!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote during this election. And EVERY SINGLE ELECTION AFTER! Local and national elections!
If you don't vote, then YOU ARE MAKING A MISTAKE!
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Naked Truths
Most people know that I am avid book reader. In fact, I have posted two blogs about my favorite books and authors. I have met one of my favorite authors (Jodi Picoult) last year. I enter contests daily on Goodreads to win free books and to keep track of my yearly reading progress. I cannot devour books fast enough and my book list is never ending. But, this blog isn't about books.
It is about a concept that I recently read in one of my new favorite books.
Colleen Hoover is one of my favorite authors and people. She is hilarious. She gives back to charity. And I love the subject of her stories; they are heartbreaking, gut wrenching, and romantic. Colleen recently published a book titled It Ends With Us, which I have read three times since it released in August. One of my favorite parts about the book is the concept of "naked truths".
Naked truths (as explained by the main character and consequently Colleen Hoover) are the truths that people are afraid to say outloud. They are the thoughts that we keep to ourselves because we fear what others might say or feel in response to our words. Throughout the book, naked truths are spoken. About how the characters feel when they first meet, their relationships with their families, their emotions throughout their own relationship. It's what makes the main characters unique and what dictates their entire relationship.
I love the idea of naked truths.
Why don't people speak their mind more often? Why is it so hard to admit what you really want to say? If you are cheating on your significant other, why not just say so? Why not admit that there was a problem in your relationship in the first place? It would certainly stop a lot of the heartbreak, anger, and doubt that ensues. If you are mad or uncomfortable with a co-worker, why not just say so? Isn't the point of having co-workers to learn from one another and accept constructive criticism? If you are frustrated at a family member about their actions, why not just tell them? It would create a stronger relationship and allow you to move past the petty feelings. Why can't we all just say our naked truths and move on?
Perhaps it's because the most naked truths we have to say are the ones that are hardest to admit. Maybe you don't want to admit that you failed at your relationship along the way. Or maybe it's because you have been together so long that you realize that you don't have that much in common anymore. Or maybe you have become different people and you just aren't headed in the same direction anymore. But ultimately, it's because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. It's heartbreaking (and more than a little awkward) to say that you don't find someone attractive anymore or that you have a completely different view on life that no longer involves them. Or it could be that you are too afraid to start over. Giving up a relationship means having to start over again; finding your own space, finding a new outlook on life, trying love again, and knowing that the whole dynamic of your family will have to be different. Change is scary and sometimes it's easier to leave a naked truth unsaid.
Perhaps you don't want to admit your naked truth because it would create tensions that make you uncomfortable. Most places of employment require you to interact with someone on a daily basis. If you admit that you don't respect what they are doing or that you think they need to change, it might hurt their feelings. Or they might grow defensive. And then you have an ugly work situation to deal with. One that might end up with you as the source of gossip or even worse, fired. Not being able to predict the future is scary and therefore, it's easier to leave a naked truth unsaid.
Perhaps you know that a naked truth will leave someone with a hard to face reality. Families are complicated. Although you may be related to someone, that doesn't mean you agree with their personality or their point of view regarding life or even their work ethic. Perhaps saying your naked truth to them might mean that your whole family dynamic changes. Grudges are kept, tensions run high, and regret is a bitter taste on your tongue. Being honest and going against your support system is scary and therefore, it's easier to leave a naked truth unsaid.
Last year I learned that if I kept quiet, I would slowly destroy who I was as a person and as an educator. I let someone else dictate my feelings and I refused to be an active participant. I promised myself one year ago, that I would no longer be an innocent bystander. And I wasn't. I spoke up about the injustices I felt at work. I was more honest to my family members and friends. In fact, I just wrote an e-mail to one of my professors about a subjective question on a test. I have slowly become more vocal and I truly appreciate the person I have become.
But that doesn't mean it's any easier to say a naked truth. In fact, I leave a lot of naked truths unsaid.
Naked truths require you to step outside of your boundaries. To take a leap of faith and hope that your relationship with someone doesn't (or does, depending on the situation) change drastically. It means that you have to admit that you don't agree with someone and know that they might have something to say, which you don't want to hear. It means that you have to break a few hearts, disregard someone else's feelings, and know that your life could change forever. Naked truths mean that you have to admit something out loud and not know what could unfold.
I know that some people will read this and think that they are honest and that they do admit their naked truths. And I'm sure that these beliefs might be true to some extent. But to be honest, some of the people that I have known to say that they are "honest with everyone" and that they "speak their mind all the time" or admit "I told so-and-so this" are the ones who hold back the biggest naked truths. They are the ones who admit one thing, but then twist the truth in their favor. They aren't honest with the people who truly matter; their significant others, their family members, their loved ones, their co-workers. They are the ones who become the gossip queens (or kings). They are the ones who hold back the most. Because it's scary to admit to those who are closest to you that you don't respect their practices, that you disagree with their opinions, or that your point of view is vastly different than theirs. Naked truths are ugly and scary and bold. And most people are not as bold as they think they are or as bold as they want to be.
Today I admitted a big naked truth to someone and it hurt like hell. It meant that I had to admit that I was a failure at something. That life wasn't going to turn out the way I had predicted. It made me realize that I would have to start over. Naked truths are ugly and today I finally realized that naked truths can't be left unsaid because they just lead to more hurt and false promises.
So, I challenge you (if I even have any readers) to admit one naked truth. Tell someone you truly care about or someone who you see on a daily basis how you feel. It's going to be hard and it's going to be ugly. In the end, it might change the weight on your shoulders. It might change the dynamic of your relationship. It might end in an unexpected way. But, it will make the next naked truth you admit a little easier to stomach.
Although this post was meant to be incredibly serious, I would like to admit a few ridiculous naked truths to get the ball rolling:
1. When I'm in public and I fart, I blame it on my kids because I find it extremely uncomfortable to admit that I was the one who passed gas.
2. I eat food off the floor after more than five seconds, but only if it's in my own home. (P.S. Fun fact, the five second rule is non existent. The food is dirty the second it hits the floor. Thank-you Myth Busters).
3. I judge people by their bumper stickers on their cars. (Hint, if you have an "I love Trump" or "Make America Great Again" sticker on your car, I am SERIOUSLY judging you).
It is about a concept that I recently read in one of my new favorite books.
Colleen Hoover is one of my favorite authors and people. She is hilarious. She gives back to charity. And I love the subject of her stories; they are heartbreaking, gut wrenching, and romantic. Colleen recently published a book titled It Ends With Us, which I have read three times since it released in August. One of my favorite parts about the book is the concept of "naked truths".
Naked truths (as explained by the main character and consequently Colleen Hoover) are the truths that people are afraid to say outloud. They are the thoughts that we keep to ourselves because we fear what others might say or feel in response to our words. Throughout the book, naked truths are spoken. About how the characters feel when they first meet, their relationships with their families, their emotions throughout their own relationship. It's what makes the main characters unique and what dictates their entire relationship.
I love the idea of naked truths.
Why don't people speak their mind more often? Why is it so hard to admit what you really want to say? If you are cheating on your significant other, why not just say so? Why not admit that there was a problem in your relationship in the first place? It would certainly stop a lot of the heartbreak, anger, and doubt that ensues. If you are mad or uncomfortable with a co-worker, why not just say so? Isn't the point of having co-workers to learn from one another and accept constructive criticism? If you are frustrated at a family member about their actions, why not just tell them? It would create a stronger relationship and allow you to move past the petty feelings. Why can't we all just say our naked truths and move on?
Perhaps it's because the most naked truths we have to say are the ones that are hardest to admit. Maybe you don't want to admit that you failed at your relationship along the way. Or maybe it's because you have been together so long that you realize that you don't have that much in common anymore. Or maybe you have become different people and you just aren't headed in the same direction anymore. But ultimately, it's because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. It's heartbreaking (and more than a little awkward) to say that you don't find someone attractive anymore or that you have a completely different view on life that no longer involves them. Or it could be that you are too afraid to start over. Giving up a relationship means having to start over again; finding your own space, finding a new outlook on life, trying love again, and knowing that the whole dynamic of your family will have to be different. Change is scary and sometimes it's easier to leave a naked truth unsaid.
Perhaps you don't want to admit your naked truth because it would create tensions that make you uncomfortable. Most places of employment require you to interact with someone on a daily basis. If you admit that you don't respect what they are doing or that you think they need to change, it might hurt their feelings. Or they might grow defensive. And then you have an ugly work situation to deal with. One that might end up with you as the source of gossip or even worse, fired. Not being able to predict the future is scary and therefore, it's easier to leave a naked truth unsaid.
Perhaps you know that a naked truth will leave someone with a hard to face reality. Families are complicated. Although you may be related to someone, that doesn't mean you agree with their personality or their point of view regarding life or even their work ethic. Perhaps saying your naked truth to them might mean that your whole family dynamic changes. Grudges are kept, tensions run high, and regret is a bitter taste on your tongue. Being honest and going against your support system is scary and therefore, it's easier to leave a naked truth unsaid.
Last year I learned that if I kept quiet, I would slowly destroy who I was as a person and as an educator. I let someone else dictate my feelings and I refused to be an active participant. I promised myself one year ago, that I would no longer be an innocent bystander. And I wasn't. I spoke up about the injustices I felt at work. I was more honest to my family members and friends. In fact, I just wrote an e-mail to one of my professors about a subjective question on a test. I have slowly become more vocal and I truly appreciate the person I have become.
But that doesn't mean it's any easier to say a naked truth. In fact, I leave a lot of naked truths unsaid.
Naked truths require you to step outside of your boundaries. To take a leap of faith and hope that your relationship with someone doesn't (or does, depending on the situation) change drastically. It means that you have to admit that you don't agree with someone and know that they might have something to say, which you don't want to hear. It means that you have to break a few hearts, disregard someone else's feelings, and know that your life could change forever. Naked truths mean that you have to admit something out loud and not know what could unfold.
I know that some people will read this and think that they are honest and that they do admit their naked truths. And I'm sure that these beliefs might be true to some extent. But to be honest, some of the people that I have known to say that they are "honest with everyone" and that they "speak their mind all the time" or admit "I told so-and-so this" are the ones who hold back the biggest naked truths. They are the ones who admit one thing, but then twist the truth in their favor. They aren't honest with the people who truly matter; their significant others, their family members, their loved ones, their co-workers. They are the ones who become the gossip queens (or kings). They are the ones who hold back the most. Because it's scary to admit to those who are closest to you that you don't respect their practices, that you disagree with their opinions, or that your point of view is vastly different than theirs. Naked truths are ugly and scary and bold. And most people are not as bold as they think they are or as bold as they want to be.
Today I admitted a big naked truth to someone and it hurt like hell. It meant that I had to admit that I was a failure at something. That life wasn't going to turn out the way I had predicted. It made me realize that I would have to start over. Naked truths are ugly and today I finally realized that naked truths can't be left unsaid because they just lead to more hurt and false promises.
So, I challenge you (if I even have any readers) to admit one naked truth. Tell someone you truly care about or someone who you see on a daily basis how you feel. It's going to be hard and it's going to be ugly. In the end, it might change the weight on your shoulders. It might change the dynamic of your relationship. It might end in an unexpected way. But, it will make the next naked truth you admit a little easier to stomach.
Although this post was meant to be incredibly serious, I would like to admit a few ridiculous naked truths to get the ball rolling:
1. When I'm in public and I fart, I blame it on my kids because I find it extremely uncomfortable to admit that I was the one who passed gas.
2. I eat food off the floor after more than five seconds, but only if it's in my own home. (P.S. Fun fact, the five second rule is non existent. The food is dirty the second it hits the floor. Thank-you Myth Busters).
3. I judge people by their bumper stickers on their cars. (Hint, if you have an "I love Trump" or "Make America Great Again" sticker on your car, I am SERIOUSLY judging you).
Monday, May 16, 2016
Mondays
"The same boiling water that hardens eggs will soften the carrot. Everything depends on the individual's particular reaction to stressful situations." Dr. James Dobson Hide or Seek
Today was hard. When faced with a stressful situation, I cried and left the room. When faced with a stressful situation, I couldn't handle it. For the rest of the day, I walked around with a heavy heart. A bruised physical body. And a withdrawn personality. I questioned myself.
Was it my fault?
Is this the right path for me?
What could I have done differently?
Maybe I need to reorganize my life?
What if today happens again? Can I handle it?
Then I went home. My son yelled, "Mommy. Mommy." My daughter asked, "Is mom home? Where is she?" before I walked in the door. We went for a walk. My son laughed. My daughter smiled. I watched them walk down the street hand-in-hand. I got to eat dinner with my family. I helped my daughter with her homework, which she got all right. My son and I had a dance party in the middle of my bedroom. My son cuddled with me on the couch. My daughter said, "I love you. Good night," before she went to bed. My son fell asleep on his own for the first time in a while. And then I thought.
Today wasn't my fault.
I am on the right path.
I will try a new strategy tomorrow.
If I reorganized my life, I would miss these beautiful moments that make it ok.
If it happens again, I know I have support. I can handle it.
"When life's problems seem overwhelming, look around and see what others are coping with. You may consider yourself fortunate." Unknown
Today was hard. I struggled through a difficult situation and felt like a failure. I wondered where I belonged and if I was strong enough. Then I spoke to my brother. He told me he got his leg checked out two weeks ago and it's not his bone that's broken or fractured, it's his muscles that are hurting. He's wearing a brace. He told me he was going to see his Pulmonologist tomorrow because he's having trouble breathing. When I asked him what he was going to do for his birthday, he said, "It doesn't matter. I just want to make it through it pain free." And then I thought.
Why was my day so bad?
I'm shallow to think that my morning was hard when there are people struggling to breathe. When walking isn't a luxury that's granted to everyone.
What if I couldn't make it through the day without being in physical or emotional pain?
Then my brother made me laugh. He asked how I was doing. He gave me sympathy for my tough day. He asked how my kids were. He said he loves them and can't wait to see them again. He said he missed me. Then he said goodbye. He promised to call me tomorrow to let me know how his doctor visit went. And then I thought.
Today was manageable. It wasn't so bad.
I'm not shallow. Everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle than you. Maybe my day wasn't as hard as my brothers, but my day could've been harder than another person's. And someone else had a tougher day than my brother.
Life hands each person struggles that only they can make it through. My brother is tougher than I am; he smiles through the physical and emotional pain. I would crumple, but I am tougher than someone else. Maybe someone else wouldn't be able to do what I do. Life isn't any harder than what you can handle.
"The only person that I have to be better than is the person I was yesterday." Unknown
Today was hard. I felt defeated. I wondered if I could lift the ache in my heart as fast as the bruises would mend on my legs. Then I thought about who I am. I am a mother. I help my daughter with her homework. I let my son smear finger paint all over his hands. I kiss boo-boos on scraped knees. I am showered in love and kisses and hugs. Yet, I still try to do better. I work harder so my kids can have vacations. I think of strategies with other moms to get my daughter to socialize more. I wonder what I can do to improve my son's speech. I try new methods to get my son on a regular, independent sleeping schedule. I am a teacher. I plan lessons to teach children new concepts. I implement behavior plans to support children with a variety of abilities in the classroom. I attend professional development meetings. I confer with other colleagues to see what we can collaborate on and learn from. Yet, I still try to do better. I come home and research more social-emotional strategies. I research different behavioral plans. I collaborate with other individuals to improve my teaching practices. I think about what I could do differently and how I can implement that plan. I am a student. I do my homework after my kids go to bed. I am trying to earn my Bachelor's degree. I spend weekends writing papers. I complete my degree requirements. I apply for scholarships. Yet, I still try to do better. I submit papers to my college writing labs to see what I can improve on my research papers. I fight for grades that I believe I deserve. I actively participate and question those around me. I plan ahead, so I know what my options are. I haven't even finished my undergrad degree and I am already thinking about my graduate degree. And then I thought.
Am I really doing better?
How can I still improve myself?
Am I enough?
Then I realized, that because I want to do better. Because I actively engage with the people and things around me. Because I plan and implement. Because I strategize and question. Because I listen and learn. Because I want to do better, I am a better person than I was yesterday. And then I thought.
Yes. I am doing better because I want to do better.
I can improve myself because I am driven and because I still want to become the best me I can be.
I am enough for myself. And that's all I need to be enough for.
"Don't waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all."
Today was hard. My skin wasn't thick enough. My eyes filled with tears. I had to walk away. Then I sat in silence. After the kids went to bed. After I shut off the tv. After I climbed the stairs. After I sat down at my desk. I thought about who I was and who I wanted to be. I thought about my day. Who I talked to. What I said. How I felt. I remembered that I talked about the way that person looked. Or what that person said. Or what that person believed. Or how that person faced their day. And then I thought.
Who am I to judge them?
Am I perfect? Without flaws?
Does their presence affect who I am and what I believe?
Then I realized, that I was no better than they were. I am no better than the person who looks down on everyone. I am no better than the person who doesn't care about their job. I am no better than the person sucking up to the boss. I am no better than the person who yelled at someone else. I am no better than the person who spread gossip. I am no better than the person who lied. I am no better than the person who I was thinking about, talking about, or looking down upon.
I cannot judge others because I don't know them. They fight battles, physically or mentally, that I know nothing about.
I have flaws. I have committed the same "crimes" as them. I can do better than I did yesterday.
In the long run, they don't matter. They don't change who I am. What I stand for. What I believe. Why I wake up in the morning. They don't live my life and shouldn't play a major role in it.
"Everything that has happened to you is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to prevent you from growing...You get to choose." Wayne Dyer
Today was hard. But, today I chose to love my kids. I chose to become a better mom, a better teacher, a better student, a better me. Today was hard, but I chose to remember that if a boy in a wheelchair can make you laugh through their pain, if a child with cancer can come into school with a smile on his face, if a single mother can lift her grown son out of bed, I can keep pushing past the physical and emotional pain. Today was hard, but I chose to leave the gossip. The judgement. The petty feelings. Because I am better than that! Today was hard, but I chose this path that I am on. I love this path that I am on. I change the lives of children and families even if those changes are small. I reach for those flawless moments where I get a 100 on my paper. Where I make my son laugh. Where I watch my daughter make new friends. Where I become a better person.
Today was hard, but tomorrow will be better. Because it wasn't today and I choose to be better than I was yesterday.
"Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important. Capture the good times. Develop from the negatives. And if things don't work, just take another shot." Unknown
Today was hard. When faced with a stressful situation, I cried and left the room. When faced with a stressful situation, I couldn't handle it. For the rest of the day, I walked around with a heavy heart. A bruised physical body. And a withdrawn personality. I questioned myself.
Was it my fault?
Is this the right path for me?
What could I have done differently?
Maybe I need to reorganize my life?
What if today happens again? Can I handle it?
Then I went home. My son yelled, "Mommy. Mommy." My daughter asked, "Is mom home? Where is she?" before I walked in the door. We went for a walk. My son laughed. My daughter smiled. I watched them walk down the street hand-in-hand. I got to eat dinner with my family. I helped my daughter with her homework, which she got all right. My son and I had a dance party in the middle of my bedroom. My son cuddled with me on the couch. My daughter said, "I love you. Good night," before she went to bed. My son fell asleep on his own for the first time in a while. And then I thought.
Today wasn't my fault.
I am on the right path.
I will try a new strategy tomorrow.
If I reorganized my life, I would miss these beautiful moments that make it ok.
If it happens again, I know I have support. I can handle it.
"When life's problems seem overwhelming, look around and see what others are coping with. You may consider yourself fortunate." Unknown
Today was hard. I struggled through a difficult situation and felt like a failure. I wondered where I belonged and if I was strong enough. Then I spoke to my brother. He told me he got his leg checked out two weeks ago and it's not his bone that's broken or fractured, it's his muscles that are hurting. He's wearing a brace. He told me he was going to see his Pulmonologist tomorrow because he's having trouble breathing. When I asked him what he was going to do for his birthday, he said, "It doesn't matter. I just want to make it through it pain free." And then I thought.
Why was my day so bad?
I'm shallow to think that my morning was hard when there are people struggling to breathe. When walking isn't a luxury that's granted to everyone.
What if I couldn't make it through the day without being in physical or emotional pain?
Then my brother made me laugh. He asked how I was doing. He gave me sympathy for my tough day. He asked how my kids were. He said he loves them and can't wait to see them again. He said he missed me. Then he said goodbye. He promised to call me tomorrow to let me know how his doctor visit went. And then I thought.
Today was manageable. It wasn't so bad.
I'm not shallow. Everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle than you. Maybe my day wasn't as hard as my brothers, but my day could've been harder than another person's. And someone else had a tougher day than my brother.
Life hands each person struggles that only they can make it through. My brother is tougher than I am; he smiles through the physical and emotional pain. I would crumple, but I am tougher than someone else. Maybe someone else wouldn't be able to do what I do. Life isn't any harder than what you can handle.
"The only person that I have to be better than is the person I was yesterday." Unknown
Today was hard. I felt defeated. I wondered if I could lift the ache in my heart as fast as the bruises would mend on my legs. Then I thought about who I am. I am a mother. I help my daughter with her homework. I let my son smear finger paint all over his hands. I kiss boo-boos on scraped knees. I am showered in love and kisses and hugs. Yet, I still try to do better. I work harder so my kids can have vacations. I think of strategies with other moms to get my daughter to socialize more. I wonder what I can do to improve my son's speech. I try new methods to get my son on a regular, independent sleeping schedule. I am a teacher. I plan lessons to teach children new concepts. I implement behavior plans to support children with a variety of abilities in the classroom. I attend professional development meetings. I confer with other colleagues to see what we can collaborate on and learn from. Yet, I still try to do better. I come home and research more social-emotional strategies. I research different behavioral plans. I collaborate with other individuals to improve my teaching practices. I think about what I could do differently and how I can implement that plan. I am a student. I do my homework after my kids go to bed. I am trying to earn my Bachelor's degree. I spend weekends writing papers. I complete my degree requirements. I apply for scholarships. Yet, I still try to do better. I submit papers to my college writing labs to see what I can improve on my research papers. I fight for grades that I believe I deserve. I actively participate and question those around me. I plan ahead, so I know what my options are. I haven't even finished my undergrad degree and I am already thinking about my graduate degree. And then I thought.
Am I really doing better?
How can I still improve myself?
Am I enough?
Then I realized, that because I want to do better. Because I actively engage with the people and things around me. Because I plan and implement. Because I strategize and question. Because I listen and learn. Because I want to do better, I am a better person than I was yesterday. And then I thought.
Yes. I am doing better because I want to do better.
I can improve myself because I am driven and because I still want to become the best me I can be.
I am enough for myself. And that's all I need to be enough for.
"Don't waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all."
Today was hard. My skin wasn't thick enough. My eyes filled with tears. I had to walk away. Then I sat in silence. After the kids went to bed. After I shut off the tv. After I climbed the stairs. After I sat down at my desk. I thought about who I was and who I wanted to be. I thought about my day. Who I talked to. What I said. How I felt. I remembered that I talked about the way that person looked. Or what that person said. Or what that person believed. Or how that person faced their day. And then I thought.
Who am I to judge them?
Am I perfect? Without flaws?
Does their presence affect who I am and what I believe?
Then I realized, that I was no better than they were. I am no better than the person who looks down on everyone. I am no better than the person who doesn't care about their job. I am no better than the person sucking up to the boss. I am no better than the person who yelled at someone else. I am no better than the person who spread gossip. I am no better than the person who lied. I am no better than the person who I was thinking about, talking about, or looking down upon.
I cannot judge others because I don't know them. They fight battles, physically or mentally, that I know nothing about.
I have flaws. I have committed the same "crimes" as them. I can do better than I did yesterday.
In the long run, they don't matter. They don't change who I am. What I stand for. What I believe. Why I wake up in the morning. They don't live my life and shouldn't play a major role in it.
"Everything that has happened to you is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to prevent you from growing...You get to choose." Wayne Dyer
Today was hard. But, today I chose to love my kids. I chose to become a better mom, a better teacher, a better student, a better me. Today was hard, but I chose to remember that if a boy in a wheelchair can make you laugh through their pain, if a child with cancer can come into school with a smile on his face, if a single mother can lift her grown son out of bed, I can keep pushing past the physical and emotional pain. Today was hard, but I chose to leave the gossip. The judgement. The petty feelings. Because I am better than that! Today was hard, but I chose this path that I am on. I love this path that I am on. I change the lives of children and families even if those changes are small. I reach for those flawless moments where I get a 100 on my paper. Where I make my son laugh. Where I watch my daughter make new friends. Where I become a better person.
Today was hard, but tomorrow will be better. Because it wasn't today and I choose to be better than I was yesterday.
"Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important. Capture the good times. Develop from the negatives. And if things don't work, just take another shot." Unknown
Thursday, March 31, 2016
It's Complicated
Life is...complicated.
And so is this blog post. If you are easily offended, stop reading. I am brutally honest about how I feel and I don't need any more judgements. So take this post with a grain of salt and I will do the same with your opinion.
Today I was watching a video about this young man who bought over $100 of McDonald's food and handed it out to homeless people in the area. When he ran out of food, he went to Rite Aid and purchased more food and drinks and handed them out too. It was a short video, but I was sobbing by the end of it. Not only for the man's kindness and how grateful those who received food were, but because I was astounded by the sheer amount of homeless people he found in the area. Young, old, men, women, children, various ages and races. I'm not naive, I know that there are homeless people in every state and in every country, but still, it makes you think.
What circumstances brought those individuals to live on the streets? How did they get to where they are now? How do they survive the elements and hunger? Will their lives change? Do they have family or friends?
It also makes me feel extremely blessed. I have a roof over my head, food on my table every night, and a family who loves and supports me. I have a job and money to spend. I have good friends. I am fortunate enough to be in school, which gives me the opportunity to better myself and earn a better living for my family. I am truly lucky.
But, life is complicated... It's not about "he has it tougher than me" or "my issues are more severe than that person's problems" or "this happened to me, so I am entitled to this". That's not the way life works.
Each of our problems are just as significant. We all have battles to fight and lose. We all have heartbreak and love. We all have obstacles that seem impossible to overcome. We all have moments where it's hard to place ourselves in another's shoes. Each of our emotions and struggles are valid.
Which is while even though that video touched me and made me feel grateful for all I have in my life, I still had a rough day. I am still experiencing situations that have no "one right answer". Even though I am not homeless and even though I have a great family, I still think life is complicated.
I feel...frustrated.
There are some situations in my life that I have absolutely no control over. It's impossible to watch someone you love struggle with everyday functions. It's heartbreaking to know that they cannot feed themselves or that they don't understand what is happening around them. It's difficult to know how quickly someone's personality and physical state have changed over the course of a few short years. Where you once remember them as lively, interactive individuals and now see them as people who are listless and have defeated spirits. It's so hard to put into words what you want to give them. You want them to remember who they are. You want them to be able to get up and walk out the door so they can experience independence on a different level. You want them to stop hurting. But, you can't take it away or change their circumstance.
You can't give them their strength back. You can't help them remember what they used to be like. You can't watch them walk out the door. You can't bring love into their lives when others aren't willing to look past their "differences". You can't breathe for them. You can't take away their pain. You can't walk for them. You can't help them understand when that function is gone. And you can't make others understand what they fight so hard to ignore.
I think that's even more frustrating. You see this person struggle day in and day out and some people just don't understand it. They aren't there to see the good and bad moments. They aren't there to see how little moments become huge struggles. They aren't there to see you pick someone up off the floor. They aren't there to see how someone has changed after a "setback". They take it all for granted. They don't understand how precious each good moment is or how the tough moments make you grateful for all you have. They don't understand how influential their phone calls, visits, or kind words can be.
I feel frustrated because I can't help others the way I want to and I can't make someone see how their actions are affecting those in their life.
I feel...hurt
I have always wanted to be a teacher. I used to collect worksheets and books from my elementary school teachers at the end of the year, so I could "play school" all summer long. I babysat growing up because I loved children and enjoyed seeing their faces light up when they learned something new. I observed the qualities of my favorite teachers to see how they became so qualified and beloved by their students. I applied to several teaching colleges and enrolled in a school that got me into a classroom my first semester of college. I volunteered at after school programs and in elementary classrooms as a teacher aide working with autistic students. I earned my Associates in Early Childhood Education. I applied for a part-time position and got a full-time position for the first teaching job I ever applied to. I went back to school for my Bachelors in Child Studies and will have my degree and early childhood/kindergarten certification in a few short months. I have a 3.98 GPA and recently got accepted to the Alpha Chi Honor Society. I attend professional development workshops to learn new teaching techniques. I truly love what I do and feel as though I can learn from every experience in my life: good or bad.
But, lately I am struggling to find my place. I feel as though one conversation and one person shifted my entire career and I feel...stuck. Every day I put in a 100%, I remain flexible, and I try so hard to bring new ideas and experiences into what I do. But, there are still people who take advantage of what I do and I feel like I have taken a huge step back. There are still people who have unfair opinions of who I am as a person and who don't consider what I have to say. There are still people who express their indifference towards me until they need a favor. I am trying to make the best of the situation that I was given, but it's hard when you fight every day to overcome opinions and judgements and instability. I feel hurt that I do what I can and it is still met with skepticism or unfair criticism.
I promised myself that I wouldn't let other people define who I am. And I don't. I speak up for myself more now than I ever did before and that has helped with some of the situations that I have faced. But, it still hurts that it's not good enough.
I feel...angry.
There are so many people who take advantage of the situations they are placed in. They don't realize how lucky they are to have that stability in their lives. They don't realize that they were placed into a situation for a reason and they are hurting those around them by not meeting expectations. They don't realize that everything from their attire to their demeanor to their expressions are interpreted by those around them; their actions have consequences. They go through life assuming they are owed something without putting the effort in to earn what they are seeking. They don't problem solve and they simply don't care. It makes me so angry that they don't see the opportunity that they are given and they take advantage of every situation. It makes me angry that there are a million people fighting for their position and they are throwing away what they are given.
Life is complicated. There are situations we cannot control. There are circumstances that have no "right answer". There are emotions that we struggle to define and understand. Life is not black and white; people are not good or bad. You don't know what others are struggling with and you don't know what motivates them to act a certain way. Their problems are not insignificant or more important than yours, they are just different. Each person has their own struggles and their own way of dealing with whatever life hands them. Life is complicated and so are human emotions.
Sometimes I just wish it wasn't so complicated...
And so is this blog post. If you are easily offended, stop reading. I am brutally honest about how I feel and I don't need any more judgements. So take this post with a grain of salt and I will do the same with your opinion.
Today I was watching a video about this young man who bought over $100 of McDonald's food and handed it out to homeless people in the area. When he ran out of food, he went to Rite Aid and purchased more food and drinks and handed them out too. It was a short video, but I was sobbing by the end of it. Not only for the man's kindness and how grateful those who received food were, but because I was astounded by the sheer amount of homeless people he found in the area. Young, old, men, women, children, various ages and races. I'm not naive, I know that there are homeless people in every state and in every country, but still, it makes you think.
What circumstances brought those individuals to live on the streets? How did they get to where they are now? How do they survive the elements and hunger? Will their lives change? Do they have family or friends?
It also makes me feel extremely blessed. I have a roof over my head, food on my table every night, and a family who loves and supports me. I have a job and money to spend. I have good friends. I am fortunate enough to be in school, which gives me the opportunity to better myself and earn a better living for my family. I am truly lucky.
But, life is complicated... It's not about "he has it tougher than me" or "my issues are more severe than that person's problems" or "this happened to me, so I am entitled to this". That's not the way life works.
Each of our problems are just as significant. We all have battles to fight and lose. We all have heartbreak and love. We all have obstacles that seem impossible to overcome. We all have moments where it's hard to place ourselves in another's shoes. Each of our emotions and struggles are valid.
Which is while even though that video touched me and made me feel grateful for all I have in my life, I still had a rough day. I am still experiencing situations that have no "one right answer". Even though I am not homeless and even though I have a great family, I still think life is complicated.
I feel...frustrated.
There are some situations in my life that I have absolutely no control over. It's impossible to watch someone you love struggle with everyday functions. It's heartbreaking to know that they cannot feed themselves or that they don't understand what is happening around them. It's difficult to know how quickly someone's personality and physical state have changed over the course of a few short years. Where you once remember them as lively, interactive individuals and now see them as people who are listless and have defeated spirits. It's so hard to put into words what you want to give them. You want them to remember who they are. You want them to be able to get up and walk out the door so they can experience independence on a different level. You want them to stop hurting. But, you can't take it away or change their circumstance.
You can't give them their strength back. You can't help them remember what they used to be like. You can't watch them walk out the door. You can't bring love into their lives when others aren't willing to look past their "differences". You can't breathe for them. You can't take away their pain. You can't walk for them. You can't help them understand when that function is gone. And you can't make others understand what they fight so hard to ignore.
I think that's even more frustrating. You see this person struggle day in and day out and some people just don't understand it. They aren't there to see the good and bad moments. They aren't there to see how little moments become huge struggles. They aren't there to see you pick someone up off the floor. They aren't there to see how someone has changed after a "setback". They take it all for granted. They don't understand how precious each good moment is or how the tough moments make you grateful for all you have. They don't understand how influential their phone calls, visits, or kind words can be.
I feel frustrated because I can't help others the way I want to and I can't make someone see how their actions are affecting those in their life.
I feel...hurt
I have always wanted to be a teacher. I used to collect worksheets and books from my elementary school teachers at the end of the year, so I could "play school" all summer long. I babysat growing up because I loved children and enjoyed seeing their faces light up when they learned something new. I observed the qualities of my favorite teachers to see how they became so qualified and beloved by their students. I applied to several teaching colleges and enrolled in a school that got me into a classroom my first semester of college. I volunteered at after school programs and in elementary classrooms as a teacher aide working with autistic students. I earned my Associates in Early Childhood Education. I applied for a part-time position and got a full-time position for the first teaching job I ever applied to. I went back to school for my Bachelors in Child Studies and will have my degree and early childhood/kindergarten certification in a few short months. I have a 3.98 GPA and recently got accepted to the Alpha Chi Honor Society. I attend professional development workshops to learn new teaching techniques. I truly love what I do and feel as though I can learn from every experience in my life: good or bad.
But, lately I am struggling to find my place. I feel as though one conversation and one person shifted my entire career and I feel...stuck. Every day I put in a 100%, I remain flexible, and I try so hard to bring new ideas and experiences into what I do. But, there are still people who take advantage of what I do and I feel like I have taken a huge step back. There are still people who have unfair opinions of who I am as a person and who don't consider what I have to say. There are still people who express their indifference towards me until they need a favor. I am trying to make the best of the situation that I was given, but it's hard when you fight every day to overcome opinions and judgements and instability. I feel hurt that I do what I can and it is still met with skepticism or unfair criticism.
I promised myself that I wouldn't let other people define who I am. And I don't. I speak up for myself more now than I ever did before and that has helped with some of the situations that I have faced. But, it still hurts that it's not good enough.
I feel...angry.
There are so many people who take advantage of the situations they are placed in. They don't realize how lucky they are to have that stability in their lives. They don't realize that they were placed into a situation for a reason and they are hurting those around them by not meeting expectations. They don't realize that everything from their attire to their demeanor to their expressions are interpreted by those around them; their actions have consequences. They go through life assuming they are owed something without putting the effort in to earn what they are seeking. They don't problem solve and they simply don't care. It makes me so angry that they don't see the opportunity that they are given and they take advantage of every situation. It makes me angry that there are a million people fighting for their position and they are throwing away what they are given.
Life is complicated. There are situations we cannot control. There are circumstances that have no "right answer". There are emotions that we struggle to define and understand. Life is not black and white; people are not good or bad. You don't know what others are struggling with and you don't know what motivates them to act a certain way. Their problems are not insignificant or more important than yours, they are just different. Each person has their own struggles and their own way of dealing with whatever life hands them. Life is complicated and so are human emotions.
Sometimes I just wish it wasn't so complicated...
Sunday, January 24, 2016
These are a Few of My Favorite Things
Baking. Listening to Music. Blogging. Scrapbooking. These are a few of my favorite things. I'm not much of a cook, but I love to bake; my blueberry muffins and strawberry shortcakes are food-gasm worthy. Adele and Rascal Flatts speak to my soul. Writing is my favorite way to vent and organize my thoughts. Scrapbooking is how my creative talents emerge and how I preserve my memories. These are a few of my favorite things. However, there is something that I love more than all of these hobbies. Something that makes me feel like a world traveler, a teenager experiencing love for the first time, or a bystander with their heart ripped out because of some life-altering decision. Reading makes me feel like I do all of these things and more.
Reading is truly one of my passions; one that I wish I could have for a permanent job. In fact, I get insanely jealous of those people who make money and get free books from writing book blogs or making vlogs about their most recent reads. Reading opens the world to so many possibilities; depending on the type of book, stories can empower you, make you change your view of the world, laugh, cry, and everything in between. Sometimes when I am reading, the world just drifts away. It's my way to relax. It's how I fall asleep at night. It's how I gain insight into a world that, sometimes, makes no sense.
In fact, I love reading so much, that I have written about it on my blog before. I have met my favorite author, Jodi Picoult, and her daughter Samantha van Leer, at a book signing (with a picture to prove it)! I have communicated on Facebook with Colleen Hoover, Jennifer L. Armentrout, and G.A. McKevett. I have entered several book giveaways on goodreads and even won two books! I follow several book blogs and I am constantly looking for new books to add to my never-ending "to-be-read" list. I love to read! Which is why I have decided to combine two of my favorite things, reading and blogging, to create my "FAVORITE BOOKS of 2015 List"!
I read, and viewed videos, from book bloggers and authors alike, who created year-end favorite book lists and I decided to create one of my own. Although I read 60 "new books" (I reread several books as well) last year, there are a few that I felt incredibly passionate about. I narrowed the list down to four books; some of which released last year and some of which have been previously released and I just read them this past year. I should also go on the record saying that none of these authors have paid me to write these reviews; I just honestly love them and feel like the whole world should know about them!
The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah was one of my favorite books last year and it spent several weeks on the New York Times Best Sellers List. I picked up this book for two reasons; first, I won it in a giveaway on goodreads and second, the cover was too stunning to not enter the giveaway for! It's literally a beautiful book inside and out.
The Nightingale is a story of war, family, love, passion, courage, strength, and oppression. It draws you in from the moment you read the first page and keeps your attention with it's heartbreaking descriptions, witty language, and relatable tales. This story follows two sisters, Vianne and Isabelle, who became young women in France during World War II at the time of Hitler's reign. Although neither woman was a Jew, their lives were greatly intertwined with the Nazi regime; their father went to war and came back a changed man, the Nazi's invaded their home town, Vianne's best friend was Jewish, and Isabelle followed her passion and became a hero. Although both sister's personalities, and lives, went in opposite directions, they both found a way to cope with the war and become strong, independent women.
This book made me laugh, cry, and remember the bonds that I have with my own family and sister. I just couldn't put it down! In fact, I want to write so much more about this book, but then I would spoil it for you. But if you are interested in historical fiction or if you love to read about complex family dynamics and passionate love, then The Nightingale is the perfect book for you! If you do like a few spoilers, or if you have read the story already, then I do have a more indepth review on goodreads.
In continuing with the historical fiction theme, I would also like to write about The Book Thief by Markus Zusak which was actually released in 2006 and became a movie in 2013. Just as The Nightingale took place during World War II, this novel follows the Nazi's reign in Germany. Unlike the citizen of France, who had no choice but to follow Hitler's Mein Kampf, the citizens of Germany (like the ones of this story), were mostly proud to follow Hitler's doctrine. Everyone except for Liesel and her accordion-playing foster father. Liesel worships the ground her father walks on; she admires his passion, his dedication to his family, and his ability to speak his mind. With her father's strength, Liesel goes against the Nazi's regime in order to steal books. She bonds with her father over learning to read, she finds strength in their pages, and begins to realize that there is so much more to the war than what's beyond her front door. Liesel's present, and her father's past, soon start to entwine to create an intricate story of stolen books, heart-wrenching moments, and actions that cannot be forgotten.
This story's incredibly hard to describe because of its overall theme and its heartbreaking content. I feel in love with Liesel, her foster father, and her best friend Rudy. This book made me feel so many things and it made me cry. I think I honestly cried while reading the story, but I also cried for days after I completed reading it. It's heartbreaking for me to read anything related to the Holocaust because my family members lived it; my great great aunt was a survivor of a concentration camp who later lived with my father. I have spent my life hearing about stories of the survivors from Lithuania, reading historical fiction related to the war, and watching videos about the heartbreaking events from this time period. It fascinates me, but at the same time horrifies me. This book, and The Nightingale, capture all the heartbreak and courage of these countries and individuals and I cannot praise them enough!
Switching gears, another book that spent months on the Best Sellers List and is going to be turned into a movie, is The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. This psychological thriller follows the uneventful life of the perpetually drunk and bitter Rachel. Everyday Rachel drives the commuter train to and from work focusing on one particular house; that of a lovely couple who she has named "Jess and Jason". She imagines what their lives would be like; their passionate embraces, their beautiful faces, and their immaculate home. In fact, their house is located on the street where she once lived. One day though, Rachel sees something that changes the course of her life, and her thinking. Rachel becomes the center of a missing-person-turned-murder-investigation that involves the life of her ex husband, Tom, his new wife, Anna, and the mysterious "Jess/Jason" whose real names turn out to be Scott and Megan.
Honestly, I was reluctant to read this story because of its' comparisons to Gone Girl (which I am sorry to say, I HATED), but I read it as part of my "26 Book Challenge" because it was the "book everyone has read but me". It was slow to start, but the deplorable character drew me in. They were just average people; they were cheaters and drunks and liars. That could be a number of people that many of us know in real life. Their lives were interwoven in a way that kept me guessing right until the very end. Even though none of the characters "redeemed" themselves, it was a fascinating read and a much better psychological thriller than Gone Girl (which dragged on for me and whose ending was very anti-climactic). It's definitely worth picking up if you are a Law and Order or CSI fan.
The last book that I want to review is another thriller of sorts with a mysterious edge to it. Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight is a young adult novel full of intrigue, complex family relationships, and friendships that are impossible to understand. Reconstructing Amelia tells the tale of high school student Amelia who turns up dead on her private-high school's property. Her mother, Kate, is stunned after the police rule her death a suicide. Even though her and her daughter's relationship had become increasingly strained, she knows that her daughter would never commit such an act after being caught cheating. Her grief, along with an anonymous text about her daughter's death, leads her on a whirlwind investigation into her daughter's life that connects past relationships, high school bullies, and stunning revelations. This tale of the complexities of mother-daughter relationships and vicious rumors makes for an interesting, relatable read.
Although this book is aimed at young adult readers, I feel as though many people can relate to its' underlying issues. There were many secrets that I kept from my own mother during my teenage years that put various strains on our relationship. I experienced first hand how fast rumors could spread in high school and how vicious bullies could be. I knew what it was like to want to be part of the "in-crowd" and wanting to feel accepted. High school is a complex, sometime vicious, environment and I felt like this story highlighted the "all-too-real" truth of what its' inner-workings can be. It was well-written and definitely worth your time!
Those are my top books of 2015. Even though the list is incredibly short, I feel like each of these stories evoked strong emotions in myself and are stunning to read. They made me laugh, cry, and they made me mad; they literally took my breath away and I couldn't recommend them anymore. Please take a little time to read; maybe not these books. But anything. Reading is a great escape, a valuable learning tool, and incredibly important to our youth!
As a little side note, I would love to give a shout out to a person that I recently met and admire already. She is a published author and very kindly linked my blog on her page. Please take a moment to check out Monica Fowler! She is humble and an author that is next on my reading list. Here I come, More Than One!
Reading is truly one of my passions; one that I wish I could have for a permanent job. In fact, I get insanely jealous of those people who make money and get free books from writing book blogs or making vlogs about their most recent reads. Reading opens the world to so many possibilities; depending on the type of book, stories can empower you, make you change your view of the world, laugh, cry, and everything in between. Sometimes when I am reading, the world just drifts away. It's my way to relax. It's how I fall asleep at night. It's how I gain insight into a world that, sometimes, makes no sense.
In fact, I love reading so much, that I have written about it on my blog before. I have met my favorite author, Jodi Picoult, and her daughter Samantha van Leer, at a book signing (with a picture to prove it)! I have communicated on Facebook with Colleen Hoover, Jennifer L. Armentrout, and G.A. McKevett. I have entered several book giveaways on goodreads and even won two books! I follow several book blogs and I am constantly looking for new books to add to my never-ending "to-be-read" list. I love to read! Which is why I have decided to combine two of my favorite things, reading and blogging, to create my "FAVORITE BOOKS of 2015 List"!
I read, and viewed videos, from book bloggers and authors alike, who created year-end favorite book lists and I decided to create one of my own. Although I read 60 "new books" (I reread several books as well) last year, there are a few that I felt incredibly passionate about. I narrowed the list down to four books; some of which released last year and some of which have been previously released and I just read them this past year. I should also go on the record saying that none of these authors have paid me to write these reviews; I just honestly love them and feel like the whole world should know about them!
The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah was one of my favorite books last year and it spent several weeks on the New York Times Best Sellers List. I picked up this book for two reasons; first, I won it in a giveaway on goodreads and second, the cover was too stunning to not enter the giveaway for! It's literally a beautiful book inside and out.
The Nightingale is a story of war, family, love, passion, courage, strength, and oppression. It draws you in from the moment you read the first page and keeps your attention with it's heartbreaking descriptions, witty language, and relatable tales. This story follows two sisters, Vianne and Isabelle, who became young women in France during World War II at the time of Hitler's reign. Although neither woman was a Jew, their lives were greatly intertwined with the Nazi regime; their father went to war and came back a changed man, the Nazi's invaded their home town, Vianne's best friend was Jewish, and Isabelle followed her passion and became a hero. Although both sister's personalities, and lives, went in opposite directions, they both found a way to cope with the war and become strong, independent women.
This book made me laugh, cry, and remember the bonds that I have with my own family and sister. I just couldn't put it down! In fact, I want to write so much more about this book, but then I would spoil it for you. But if you are interested in historical fiction or if you love to read about complex family dynamics and passionate love, then The Nightingale is the perfect book for you! If you do like a few spoilers, or if you have read the story already, then I do have a more indepth review on goodreads.
In continuing with the historical fiction theme, I would also like to write about The Book Thief by Markus Zusak which was actually released in 2006 and became a movie in 2013. Just as The Nightingale took place during World War II, this novel follows the Nazi's reign in Germany. Unlike the citizen of France, who had no choice but to follow Hitler's Mein Kampf, the citizens of Germany (like the ones of this story), were mostly proud to follow Hitler's doctrine. Everyone except for Liesel and her accordion-playing foster father. Liesel worships the ground her father walks on; she admires his passion, his dedication to his family, and his ability to speak his mind. With her father's strength, Liesel goes against the Nazi's regime in order to steal books. She bonds with her father over learning to read, she finds strength in their pages, and begins to realize that there is so much more to the war than what's beyond her front door. Liesel's present, and her father's past, soon start to entwine to create an intricate story of stolen books, heart-wrenching moments, and actions that cannot be forgotten.
This story's incredibly hard to describe because of its overall theme and its heartbreaking content. I feel in love with Liesel, her foster father, and her best friend Rudy. This book made me feel so many things and it made me cry. I think I honestly cried while reading the story, but I also cried for days after I completed reading it. It's heartbreaking for me to read anything related to the Holocaust because my family members lived it; my great great aunt was a survivor of a concentration camp who later lived with my father. I have spent my life hearing about stories of the survivors from Lithuania, reading historical fiction related to the war, and watching videos about the heartbreaking events from this time period. It fascinates me, but at the same time horrifies me. This book, and The Nightingale, capture all the heartbreak and courage of these countries and individuals and I cannot praise them enough!
Switching gears, another book that spent months on the Best Sellers List and is going to be turned into a movie, is The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. This psychological thriller follows the uneventful life of the perpetually drunk and bitter Rachel. Everyday Rachel drives the commuter train to and from work focusing on one particular house; that of a lovely couple who she has named "Jess and Jason". She imagines what their lives would be like; their passionate embraces, their beautiful faces, and their immaculate home. In fact, their house is located on the street where she once lived. One day though, Rachel sees something that changes the course of her life, and her thinking. Rachel becomes the center of a missing-person-turned-murder-investigation that involves the life of her ex husband, Tom, his new wife, Anna, and the mysterious "Jess/Jason" whose real names turn out to be Scott and Megan.
Honestly, I was reluctant to read this story because of its' comparisons to Gone Girl (which I am sorry to say, I HATED), but I read it as part of my "26 Book Challenge" because it was the "book everyone has read but me". It was slow to start, but the deplorable character drew me in. They were just average people; they were cheaters and drunks and liars. That could be a number of people that many of us know in real life. Their lives were interwoven in a way that kept me guessing right until the very end. Even though none of the characters "redeemed" themselves, it was a fascinating read and a much better psychological thriller than Gone Girl (which dragged on for me and whose ending was very anti-climactic). It's definitely worth picking up if you are a Law and Order or CSI fan.
The last book that I want to review is another thriller of sorts with a mysterious edge to it. Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight is a young adult novel full of intrigue, complex family relationships, and friendships that are impossible to understand. Reconstructing Amelia tells the tale of high school student Amelia who turns up dead on her private-high school's property. Her mother, Kate, is stunned after the police rule her death a suicide. Even though her and her daughter's relationship had become increasingly strained, she knows that her daughter would never commit such an act after being caught cheating. Her grief, along with an anonymous text about her daughter's death, leads her on a whirlwind investigation into her daughter's life that connects past relationships, high school bullies, and stunning revelations. This tale of the complexities of mother-daughter relationships and vicious rumors makes for an interesting, relatable read.
Although this book is aimed at young adult readers, I feel as though many people can relate to its' underlying issues. There were many secrets that I kept from my own mother during my teenage years that put various strains on our relationship. I experienced first hand how fast rumors could spread in high school and how vicious bullies could be. I knew what it was like to want to be part of the "in-crowd" and wanting to feel accepted. High school is a complex, sometime vicious, environment and I felt like this story highlighted the "all-too-real" truth of what its' inner-workings can be. It was well-written and definitely worth your time!
Those are my top books of 2015. Even though the list is incredibly short, I feel like each of these stories evoked strong emotions in myself and are stunning to read. They made me laugh, cry, and they made me mad; they literally took my breath away and I couldn't recommend them anymore. Please take a little time to read; maybe not these books. But anything. Reading is a great escape, a valuable learning tool, and incredibly important to our youth!
As a little side note, I would love to give a shout out to a person that I recently met and admire already. She is a published author and very kindly linked my blog on her page. Please take a moment to check out Monica Fowler! She is humble and an author that is next on my reading list. Here I come, More Than One!
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Bottling Happiness
Merriam-Webster Dictionary online defines happiness as "a state of well-being and contentment or a pleasurable or satisfying experience" (n.d.). Happiness But, a state of well-being or contentment or even a pleasurable or satisfying experience can be different for everyone.
Happiness can be a phone call with your mom or a heartfelt-conversation with your sister about your past experiences. It can be laughing with co-workers about a ridiculous statement that someone said. It can be watching your child reach an important milestone. It can be starting or ending school (at any year or grade). It can be a date night with your significant other. It can be getting recognition from your boss. It can be nailing an essential interview or landing your dream job. It can be sitting down at the end of the night with a glass of wine and a good book. It can be laughing at your favorite comedian after discovering their new t.v. special. It can be finally seeing that show on Broadway that you have been wanting to see for over a year.
Happiness can be something different for everyone. I also think happiness can be small things that many people take for granted.
Happiness can be taking a breath in the morning. It can be walking down the street. Speaking "Hello" to a neighbor. Heading off to your job each morning. Eating a full meal three times a day. Taking a warm shower each day. Having enough food in your pantry. Having your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa (or any relative) around to call on the phone or visit every once in awhile. Drinking clean water. Having a place to rest your head at the end of a long day. Clothes on your back. Being able to kiss your loved ones whenever you see them. Being good health. It can also be as simple as opening your eyes in the morning and closing them each night.
Happiness is something that is special to each person. It is something that cannot be taken for granted. And sometimes we fall into that grove of unhappiness.
We have long days at a job where we are not respected for our integrity or our opinions. We have health issues that beat us down and never seem to go away. We aren't able to get enough sleep. We get into arguments with our loved ones and find it impossible to find a solution. We are frustrated over our children not listening to us. We get mad about our roommates or family members not cleaning up after themselves. We forget to set the alarm (or hit the snooze button) and run late for an important meeting. We run into traffic. We are served burnt coffee from the coffee shop. We have migraines. We have cramps. We don't get along with our co-workers. We don't get any alone time.
It's easy to feel unhappy. Some days are hard. Some days are just OK. Some days are heartbreaking. Some days it doesn't seem like it's really worth it.
Life isn't always easy. In fact, no one said it would be. We have to deal with the good and bad; sometimes there is more good than bad and sometimes there is more bad than good. But, there is always happiness. There is always one moment that we can recall from the day that will make it seem worth it.
And that is why I started a Happiness Jar for 2016.
What is a Happiness Jar? Well, I honestly have never heard of one before, but apparently they are a thing. Who knew?! One of my friends on Facebook posted the idea on New Years Day and I fell in the love with the concept and since it was the beginning of the year, I decided to start a new tradition for myself. While I don't have the link for the page that I saw on Facebook (it was some random person's picture), I did do a little research on Pinterest and found a great link for the explanation of a Happiness Jar and even a cute description about how to make your own jar. The Happiness Jar
Basically a Happiness Jar is a jar (duh!) of all your happy moments from the entire year. You take a scrap piece of paper (or any paper really) and write down a quick thought or memory from the day that made you happy. Fold up the paper and add it to the jar. At the end of the year, you read all your happy memories and reflect on your accomplishments, your successes, and your feelings. Some people do a little spin on the jar and read thoughts throughout the year when they are feeling down or they burn them at the end of the year to make way for new happy thoughts. Either way, it's a collection of all the moments that make you happy; it's a way to remember.
I haven't gotten a jar yet, but so far I have written down a happy note for each day. I know it's only the 6th of January and the year has just begun, but it's honestly a peaceful practice. It's nice to sit down for a few seconds to remember what made me laugh or smile that day. It's a great way to end my night or pull myself together right after the kids go to bed. But the best part of the happiness jar (so far) is that I will always have a happy moment to write about.
The Happiness Jar has made me realize just how lucky I am. Every day I wake up surrounded by people I love. I have my two kids who make my life complete and my husband who is always there for me. I live with two old and cranky, but completely loveable uncles who I am grateful for. I have a job in the field I love and went to school for; and even though it's a struggle to do everyday, for multiple reasons, I still earn money doing what I love. Not many people can say that. Each day I have food on my table, a warm home to come back to, a pillow to rest my head on, and pretty decent clothes to wear on my back. I am able to walk, talk, and breath on my own. I can think for myself and other than this really disturbing swollen gland that I am currently battling, I am in good health. I have a loving family (and an amazing extended family) who supports me in all I do and don't do (thanks for all the rides for my license-less self). I have friends who are there for me through thick and thin even though I suck at texting back. I have made new friends who make me laugh and helped me become a better teacher and person.
As long as I have all of these things, I have a happy moment each and every day to write about and for that I am truly grateful.
Happiness can be a phone call with your mom or a heartfelt-conversation with your sister about your past experiences. It can be laughing with co-workers about a ridiculous statement that someone said. It can be watching your child reach an important milestone. It can be starting or ending school (at any year or grade). It can be a date night with your significant other. It can be getting recognition from your boss. It can be nailing an essential interview or landing your dream job. It can be sitting down at the end of the night with a glass of wine and a good book. It can be laughing at your favorite comedian after discovering their new t.v. special. It can be finally seeing that show on Broadway that you have been wanting to see for over a year.
Happiness can be something different for everyone. I also think happiness can be small things that many people take for granted.
Happiness can be taking a breath in the morning. It can be walking down the street. Speaking "Hello" to a neighbor. Heading off to your job each morning. Eating a full meal three times a day. Taking a warm shower each day. Having enough food in your pantry. Having your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa (or any relative) around to call on the phone or visit every once in awhile. Drinking clean water. Having a place to rest your head at the end of a long day. Clothes on your back. Being able to kiss your loved ones whenever you see them. Being good health. It can also be as simple as opening your eyes in the morning and closing them each night.
Happiness is something that is special to each person. It is something that cannot be taken for granted. And sometimes we fall into that grove of unhappiness.
We have long days at a job where we are not respected for our integrity or our opinions. We have health issues that beat us down and never seem to go away. We aren't able to get enough sleep. We get into arguments with our loved ones and find it impossible to find a solution. We are frustrated over our children not listening to us. We get mad about our roommates or family members not cleaning up after themselves. We forget to set the alarm (or hit the snooze button) and run late for an important meeting. We run into traffic. We are served burnt coffee from the coffee shop. We have migraines. We have cramps. We don't get along with our co-workers. We don't get any alone time.
It's easy to feel unhappy. Some days are hard. Some days are just OK. Some days are heartbreaking. Some days it doesn't seem like it's really worth it.
Life isn't always easy. In fact, no one said it would be. We have to deal with the good and bad; sometimes there is more good than bad and sometimes there is more bad than good. But, there is always happiness. There is always one moment that we can recall from the day that will make it seem worth it.
And that is why I started a Happiness Jar for 2016.
What is a Happiness Jar? Well, I honestly have never heard of one before, but apparently they are a thing. Who knew?! One of my friends on Facebook posted the idea on New Years Day and I fell in the love with the concept and since it was the beginning of the year, I decided to start a new tradition for myself. While I don't have the link for the page that I saw on Facebook (it was some random person's picture), I did do a little research on Pinterest and found a great link for the explanation of a Happiness Jar and even a cute description about how to make your own jar. The Happiness Jar
Basically a Happiness Jar is a jar (duh!) of all your happy moments from the entire year. You take a scrap piece of paper (or any paper really) and write down a quick thought or memory from the day that made you happy. Fold up the paper and add it to the jar. At the end of the year, you read all your happy memories and reflect on your accomplishments, your successes, and your feelings. Some people do a little spin on the jar and read thoughts throughout the year when they are feeling down or they burn them at the end of the year to make way for new happy thoughts. Either way, it's a collection of all the moments that make you happy; it's a way to remember.
I haven't gotten a jar yet, but so far I have written down a happy note for each day. I know it's only the 6th of January and the year has just begun, but it's honestly a peaceful practice. It's nice to sit down for a few seconds to remember what made me laugh or smile that day. It's a great way to end my night or pull myself together right after the kids go to bed. But the best part of the happiness jar (so far) is that I will always have a happy moment to write about.
The Happiness Jar has made me realize just how lucky I am. Every day I wake up surrounded by people I love. I have my two kids who make my life complete and my husband who is always there for me. I live with two old and cranky, but completely loveable uncles who I am grateful for. I have a job in the field I love and went to school for; and even though it's a struggle to do everyday, for multiple reasons, I still earn money doing what I love. Not many people can say that. Each day I have food on my table, a warm home to come back to, a pillow to rest my head on, and pretty decent clothes to wear on my back. I am able to walk, talk, and breath on my own. I can think for myself and other than this really disturbing swollen gland that I am currently battling, I am in good health. I have a loving family (and an amazing extended family) who supports me in all I do and don't do (thanks for all the rides for my license-less self). I have friends who are there for me through thick and thin even though I suck at texting back. I have made new friends who make me laugh and helped me become a better teacher and person.
As long as I have all of these things, I have a happy moment each and every day to write about and for that I am truly grateful.
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