Victories

Each day is filled with challenges. Mental, physical, emotional, and academic challenges. For each individual, the challenge is personal. Perhaps there is so much physical pain that walking the short distance from the bedroom to the bathroom causes sweat and tears. Or maybe overwhelming depression keeps someone locked in their room because getting out of bed presents the biggest challenge. Or maybe today is the day someone says goodbye to a loved one for the very last time. Everyone's struggles and challenges are unique.

There is a saying that goes along the lines of, "Each person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about" (author unknown). I believe this to be true.

While some face large challenges that take months and years to overcome, others face smaller challenges. A frustrating coworker. A house full of laundry, dishes, and dust. Balancing hectic after school schedules. The thought of not being able to take a family vacation. Shoveling snow. Even coming home to cook dinner. Although each daily task is seemingly small, it is still a challenge to work out.

Even the smallest of tasks present their own set of struggles and complications.

As humans, we are so quick to think of all the struggles we face and the challenges we cannot overcome. We are so quick to play the "victim" card and to share our sadness with others. It is so easy to unburden ourselves of the daily, and larger, issues we face that we often forget to celebrate the victories.

Even victories range from small to great. Significant to just being able to breathe a little easier.

Victories are those moments where we are able to overcome the challenges; where we rise up despite the pain, despite the heartache, despite the weariness. Victories are those small moments where all seems right in the world; where the long hours worked equal the promotion, where the crippling student loans and all-nighters earn the dream job, where the moments of penny pinching earn debt free status. They are the moments that we work for all our lives.

Sometimes, though, victories are about being able to accomplish just one task at a time.

In my anxiety (and subsequently, my depression), the littlest moments are worth celebrating victories. Victories when my anxiety is the worst include being able to get out of bed despite wanting to sleep and call in sick. Being able to answer an e-mail back and pick up my phone when all I want to do is hit ignore. The ability to take five seconds to breathe and center myself so I can be in the moment. Victories when I am anxious are not easily recognizable to others, but so important to myself.

Today, I will celebrate the victories. The small and big ones that help me put life in perspective.

Write About Your Victories This Week

• Going to the doctor. My anxiety is always present. Some days it's worse than others, while at times, it is easy to hide and make myself "appear" normal. But my anxiety is always present when I have to schedule doctor's appointments. I find it so difficult to get over the sound of my voice (I think everyone is constantly judging me for sounding like a "valley girl" and therefore, cannot take me seriously). It is increasingly difficult for me to multi-manage all the themes of scheduling a doctor's appointment; thinking about timing, getting my wording right so I can discuss why I am scheduling the visit, knowing the medical jargon needed for explaining my insurance, answering the questions needed for confirming all the "basics". It's a lot and I always, always feel like I am "not good enough" on the phone. I am celebrating the fact that I scheduled my doctor's appointment, went to the office, and got the "all-clear" for my health. 
• Going back to school. Last year, right after I lost my brother, I had a really hard time. I unexpectedly helped plan for my brother's wake and some of the little details after he passed. I was asked to change positions in my job; a welcome change that would lead to a better position. But it happened quickly and I struggled in my new classroom. My daughter was diagnosed with social anxiety and ADD and seeing her answer questions about her mental health broke my heart; I felt overwhelming guilty for her mental health issues because I thought they were a direct cause of my own challenges. And I was going to school; classes went consistently for 8 weeks with three to four papers and assignments due each week, along with daily discussions and no breaks in between each new class. I basically had a mental breakdown and stopped everything. I pushed away all my friends, spent a lot of time in bed, and quit school. I was broken and decided to work on me. I went to therapy, learned about mindfulness and finally realized the importance of facing my past and understanding my own worth. Today, I finally made the appropriate calls. I re-registered for school. I secured more financial aid and fixed the problems I left in the wake of dropping out last year. I am finally ready to go back and have a course of action for the next several months so I can graduate in the fall. I am celebrating my decision to go back to school and my ability to figure out the correct means to do it.
• I turned 32! In theory, birthdays are just a number. A date to mark the passage of time. I don't usually celebrate with cake or gifts. I love the messages from friends and family. But for me, birthdays are simple. Today, I spent time home: resting, snuggling with my kids, making appointments, and watching a movie. I ordered dinner out and didn't have to cook. It was a simple day, but a good one. In a year, I have made a lot of progress in my career, my mental health, and towards finding answers for my physical health questions. I am celebrating my birthday because I am worth it and I am so lucky to be alive.

What victories did you celebrate this week?